Four years ago, I walked away from a corporate job that was literally killing me. It was one of the scariest things I’d ever done but it was absolutely necessary.
By the time I got around to leaving, I’d already spent years ignoring the little voice inside my head that was telling me I had to slow down. That voice began with a whisper of gentle advice. “Hey, Carol,” it told me, “maybe working 70 hours a week is no longer serving you.”
I ignored the whisper and it turned into a scream. “CAROL: THIS IS NOT OK!! YOU’RE KILLING YOURSELF!”
One night, the scream turned into chest pain, sweating and shortness of breath. I was convinced I was having a heart attack so after some swift Googling to find an in-network hospital, I drove myself to the ER.
Of course, I wasn’t having a heart attack, I was having a panic attack. Sadly, it wasn’t the first one. I experienced (and ignored) them all through my 20s. But my time was up. I had to start paying attention.
Have You Been Hearing Whispers and Screams?
According to Martha Beck in her book Finding Your Own North Star, those signals are coming from your essential self, which she describes as the person you are born to be, your genetic legacy. Your social self, on the other hand, is tuned into other people and wants to be accepted by them.
Your social self is always working to keep your essential self in check because it’s afraid that if others see the essential self, they will reject it. The good news is that your essential self is strong. She wants to be recognized and she won’t be ignored forever.
Kick Fear to the Curb and Set Your Essential Self Free
Fear is the only thing stopping you from living the life you really want. It is paralyzing, it is dominating, and it is bullshit.
When I left my job, I knocked fear out of the driver’s seat and gave the steering wheel back to my essential self. That move prompted a journey into entrepreneurship that has changed everything about my life.
I’m not going to tell you that it wasn’t incredibly painful, uncomfortable and scary to make that kind of massive change. However, I thank God, the universe and my intuition every single day for screaming as loud as they did. EVERYTHING that went wrong (and right) has led to where I am today, to this new business, this new website, and this new blog.
The Other Side of Fear
I’ve got to be honest, as excited as I am about this blog, it also terrifies me. I haven’t shared my writing with anyone since high school! But when I decided to rebrand my company and overhaul my website back in December, I knew I wanted to find new ways of interacting with and engaging my clients.
So here we are. I’m embracing the fear and forging ahead because my essential self wouldn’t have it any other way.
What is your essential self trying to tell you? I invite you to be still. Tune in. Notice. Can you hear it whispering that there’s more out there for you? That you’re truly capable of amazing things?
Great! Now it’s time to take action. If you’re ready to get to know your essential self and set her free once and for all then call me. I can’t wait to meet you both!